


Incoming Call From Beefcake1977

by Megalomaniacal



Category: It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia
Genre: M/M, Phone Sex
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-11-19
Updated: 2017-11-19
Packaged: 2019-02-04 04:42:42
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,016
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12763413
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Megalomaniacal/pseuds/Megalomaniacal
Summary: Post- season 12.





	Incoming Call From Beefcake1977

**Author's Note:**

> Macdennis North Dakota phone sex  
> I've only had phone sex once so listen I am NOT an expert  
> This is supposed to be kinda ridiculous more than serious and hot bc we all know these idiots would be terrible at phone sex and it would sound so fucking weird to anyone other than them  
> If u take this seriously,,, I'm sorry   
> It was originally intended 2 b serious then I started writing and I was like mmmmmM nope

"Brian's at his grandparents' house and Mandy's asleep upstairs." Dennis murmured, staring at the dim blue screen of the Skype audio call. Mac's display picture was in a circle in the middle of the screen, some dumb photograph of him flexing in a dirty mirror. He set his phone down on the futon next to his pillow where he laid down, on his side so he could see the screen. "How's Philly?"

"Sunny." Mac joked, and Dennis could hear the exhaustion mingled with excitement in his tone. There were a few moments of silence. "Lonely. How's North Dakota?"

"Lonely." Dennis replied, laughing softly. "Still using my gym membership?"

"Yeah! I'm getting ripped, Den."

"Weren't you already?"

Dennis was joking, but could tell that Mac was flattered from the way he sounded when he spoke. "Yeah! But I'm gonna be so buff, Den, next time you see me I'll be the biggest beefcake you've ever seen!"

"Better be careful not to break me when you fuck me, then."

Mac's breath caught in his throats and he went silent, making Dennis worry for a bit that the connection was lost. Then, after a few moments, Mac spoke again.

"You're a power bottom. You can take it."

Dennis grinned and nodded, as if Mac could somehow see it. "Of course I can. I've always been able to take it from you, baby boy."

"Bet there's no beefcakes to fuck you in North Dakota." Mac joked.

Dennis hummed, reaching down to palm his growing erection through his boxers. "There's not. I haven't gotten fucked since I left Philly. God, Mac, what I'd do to have your cock inside me right now..."

It was cheesy, but then again, they were just two dumb middle aged men having phone sex, so Dennis didn't care how cliche or ridiculous they seemed.

"You're a slut, Dennis." Mac scolded, but as always, Dennis could detect the hint of fondness and love in his voice.

"I just wanna ride your cock, Mac, it's so big and thick, so much better than my fingers." Dennis's hand creeped down into his boxers, fingers wrapping around his cock.

"You have pretty fingers, though. They look so good when you finger yourself." Mac moaned, the sound cracking a bit over the small speaker of the phone. "I miss that. Watching you finger yourself."

"I've sent you pictures, baby boy."

"I want to see it again, but, like, in front of me. Dude. You're so hot, holy fuck."

Dennis could tell that Mac was stroking himself, he could hear the way his breath hitched and his voice trembled.

"You wanna fuck me, Mac?" Dennis let out a breathy laugh. "Fill me up?"

"Fuck, Den, I want to so bad."

"Yeah? Tell me about it."

There was a brief pause before Mac started talking again. "I wanna watch you finger yourself, Den, 'cause it's so fucking hot watching you reach back and stuff, and then when you pull them out and I can see inside you for a second and-" his breath caught in his throat. "I can fucking see you spreading yourself open, dude, for me and then when you tell me to fuck you, and you tell me how big and fat my cock is, like, it's like cheesy porno dialogue but it's so hot dude, holy shit- especially the way you moan whenever I shove my dick in you, like you're being stretched to your limit and trying not to cry-"

Dennis moaned, tipping his head back a little as he circled his thumb over the head of his cock, smearing precome onto it. "You fill me up so good, baby boy. That thick cock of yours. I still have all those pictures you sent, I finger myself looking at them."

Mac was moaning like a virgin now and Dennis could hear him jerking off on the other end of the phone, the wet noises of his hand quickly moving up and down his cock. "I- I bet you do, Den, you slut." He stammered, gasping.

"Are you gonna come, Mac? Wish I was there. I love when you come inside me, Mac, or when you come on my face, or down my throat. I miss that fat cock of yours so bad. Your arms, too, you've got such muscular arms, so strong." Dennis cooed. "You always leave bruises on my hips, I miss them. I'm always around Mandy, she's so tiny and sweet, I miss you, Mac. I miss my big, strong beefcake and the way he stretched me open with his big, thick cock."

Mac was starting to sound absolutely ridiculous, moaning and jerking off and mumbling incoherently, but Dennis found it hot.

"Maybe I should get a nice thick dildo for when I miss you. But that still wouldn't fill me up as much, would it? Not as much as that perfect cock of yours. God, Mac, my dick is so hard, dude."

"Fuck, Dennis, I'm gonna blow." Mac groaned.

"Yeah? Wish I could- unf- be there." Dennis grunted, heat bubbling in the pit of his stomach. "Want your cock so bad, baby boy. I miss my strong, sexy beefcake. I miss your thick, fat cock-"

He was cut off by Mac moaning, loud and explicit, cursing about how he was coming. Dennis came just moments after Mac, turned on by the sounds of his best friend losing control.

It was silent for a few minutes.

"I'm tired, Den." Mac finally broke the silence. "It's almost two in the morning."

"It's not even one yet here." Dennis murmured. He knew Mac got sleepy after orgasms, and he had to admit that he did as well. His heart jumped a little at Mac's sleepy, slightly whiny voice coming from his speakers.

"I miss you. I want you here."

"I'll be there at some point." Dennis promised. "It won't just be cheesy phone sex."

Mac was vulnerable after sex.

"Promise you'll come back?"

"Promise."

"Okay... goodnight?"

Dennis grinned a tiny bit. "Yeah, Mac. Goodnight."

Another pause.

"... I love you."

"I love you too, idiot. Now go to sleep."


End file.
